Six Flags New England in Agawam, MA, is a short drive from where I live. But unfortunately I rarely have a desire to go there. It's a teen thrill park, and that's not my thing. But my friend Dave is still into spin-and-barf rides (God bless him!), and Six Flags sent me an email saying that they were having another take-a-friend day for season passholders. It wasn't free, as it had been in the past. But it was a steeply discounted $29.95. So I got him a ticket online and on a clear Friday morning, we headed to the park. The temperature was supposed to be in the 90s for most of the day, so I assumed a lot of guests were going to head to the water park. We arrived at about 10:30, a half-hour before the park opened. I thought we'd be fighting crowds, as was the case on most of our previous visits. But we were surprised to find the parking lot nearly empty. My season pass still included free parking, which was a big relief. (Otherwise it would have been $25.) As we drove toward the tram stop, we noticed that the park had placed bright orange Jersey barriers around a section closest to the stop. That was now "preferred" parking, for those who wanted to pay the extra money for it. We were able to park right next to the Jersey barriers. Only one other car had parked closer than we did. And just as we parked, the tram pulled up. This time their Ford pickup was pulling a single tram. A bus-like enclosed double version was sitting off to the side. Since hardly anyone was there yet, we we were able to climb right aboard the tram, the first time I can remember having done that. Normally on a Friday the parking lot would already be packed and there'd be a line three deep waiting for the next tram. As usual, it dropped us off at the foot of the M&M staircase up to the bridge. From the end of the bridge looking over onto the concourse below, it was obvious what the big change in the park was this year. The 200-foot-tall lime green structure of the Goliath roller coaster was gone. The park had removed it over the winter. Normally Six Flags would ship rides from one park to another as an economical way to bring "new" rides in. But in this case, the park chopped up the entire structure into small pieces and hauled it off as scrap metal. I couldn't say I'd miss it; it was a really unpleasant ride. But scrapping it was unusual. Six Flags often would rotate rides between parks. Maybe with all the maintenance headaches, they didn't think Goliath was worth it. There weren't a lot of people in the queue waiting to enter the park. Within a few minutes, the line began moving. Their security check was seamless; we just walked through without having to empty our pockets. I showed my season pass and Dave and I entered the park. Very few things had changed. A large bright red sculpture that spelled out Six Flags and advertised Coke sat across from the carousel. It had a Coke bottle for the "i", but curiously it was missing the "x". The area to the right of the entrance that used to be the Thomas the Tank Engine land was closed off. A fairly nice train ride was there, and the closure made for one less family ride in the park. We walked down Main Street to Carroll Boulevard, the intersection at the bottom of the hill. Nearby was Main Street Sweet Shop. They offered an interesting drink, layers of Icee alternating with layers of ice cream. I was hot and thirsty, so I stopped there to get one. The park named them confusingly after DC comic characters, but didn't list which flavor was what character. So I just asked for a cherry version. The small drink was a whopping $9. I held my iPhone up to the card terminal as I've done in the past, and nothing happened. The attendant said, "We don't take Apple Pay." I stared at her, stunned, and replied, "But the park announced that this year they've gone cashless, and I've used Apple Pay here for the past few years with no problem." She responded, "Yes, but this year they decided they didn't want to support mobile payments anymore." I thought I was hearing her wrong. "So the park went cashless but removed the ability to pay without cash?" "You can still use a credit card," she replied casually. So I did. But what an inconceivable move on the part of Six Flags! Why would you announce to the world that you no longer take cash and then shut down one of the most popular cashless payment options? I suspected that many guests under 30 years old (the park's prime demographic) preferred to use their phones for payments and that few carried credit or debit cards anymore. Perhaps that explained why there were so few people in the park. We then headed over to Captain Rivi's for some shade while I drank. The park had the north section blocked off with ropes until 11:00. I wasn't bothered by that, since there were so few people in the park. There wasn't going to be a stampede once they opened. Dave and I decided to head first for Wicked Cyclone, the best ride in the park. It was difficult to find a dry seat in Rivi's. There had been a big thunderstorm the night before and evidently cleaning up the seats and tables hadn't been a priority. While I was slurping my treat, I ended up spilling some. For the rest of the day I was wearing partially pink shorts. Also, while we were there, the park turned on the mister on top of Rivi's. It was little more than a lawn sprinkler raining down onto the pavement, but it was a thoughtful gesture on such a hot day. The ropes were pulled back and we walked toward the north end of the park. We climbed the stairs next to the Sky Screamer, the park's 400-foot-tall swing ride, which had a nicely landscaped waterfall in front of it. Then we walked up the slope and over to the Wicked Cyclone entrance, which was roped off. The attendant there said that the ride was still testing and that the queue would open shortly. They had to run each of the two trains through their course four times. So we patiently stood there. For several minutes, we were the only people in line. Most other guests bypassed the coaster and headed for Sky Screamer. When we were finally allowed into the queue, there were still very few people behind us. We were able to walk up to the station and right over to the front seat for the first ride of the day. It was hard to believe that it had already been seven years since the ride first opened. The ride attendants apparently were in a stapling mood; they pushed down pretty hard on our lap bars to secure them. I understood the pressure from insurance companies, but the trains were so restrictive anyway, with leg braces and tight seat belts. We rolled out of the station and up to the steep lift. The first drop seemed much more steep than I remembered it, nearly inverting on itself. We flew throught the elements at incredible speed. But the ride was still really smooth and comfortable, even during the numerous fake-out turns in the track that tossed you from one side to another. The airtime hills came fast and furious, like a bucking bronco. We got back to the station exhausted yet envigorated. This really was still the best ride in the park. From there we walked over to the nearby Pandemonium, the park's spinning coaster which was one of Dave's favorites. He queued up for that while I waited in whatever shade I could find. He took advantage of the special single-rider line that was at the exit queue. But since there were so few people in line anyway, he was on and off the ride in just a few minutes. We headed back through the Looney Tunes Movietown area, with its big fountain splashing away. We passed by Flashback, the park's stock Vekoma Boomerang coaster. There were rumors that it was supposed to have been removed for this season. But it was still running. However, just south of it, its cousin Goliath was gone, leaving about four acres of fenced-in lawn. I was suprised that the park hadn't announced anything to fill in that gaping hole. It was a lot of wasted real estate. At least they had a nice waterfall that tried to hide the emptiness. With such a light crowd, we figured it was a good time to line up for the Thunderbolt, the park's venerable 1942 wood coaster (and the only wood coaster left in the park). I wasn't a big fan of the queuing for the ride. The park made guests sit in assigned seats, which all depended upon where you ended up in the queue. They could have modified the station fairly easily to allow for any-seat queuing, but evidently that wasn't one of their priorities. To our surprise, when we arrived at the queue line it was packed with people. We queued up anyway and then watched as several groups encouraged their family members and friends to jump over the railings and cut in front. I even saw one mother on the midway force her daughter to cut the line to be with her friends, even though her daughter didn't want to. I can see why fights recently have been breaking out at amusement parks all over the world -- arrogance, selfishness and priviledge don't make for a family-friendly environment. It didn't help that the park had only one train on the coaster and took forever to load it. One time it took nearly ten minutes. There was a backlog of people standing at the exit: the "Flash Pass" holders who paid big bucks to cut to the front of the line. But they certainly weren't getting their money's worth because the loading crew had reserved the very last car in the train for them. I assumed many would be seeing their chiropractor over the following week. As we stood on the ramp leading up to the station, Dave notice it was unusually hot. The station ramp was close to the back of the concession buildings along Carroll Boulevard. Those buildings were air conditioned, and the HVAC units were crammed along a small alleyway between the coaster station and the back of the buildings. All of the hot exhaust from the HVAC was blowing right into the queue line. That made the long wait even more unpleasant. It took nearly an hour for Dave and I to make it up to the station. There was an attendant at the gate who complained she didn't want to work there because she couldn't reach the chain across the queue line. So it took them a while to switch personnel. Finally we were let into the corral and marched forward to our assigned spots ... except for me. I would have ended up in the back seat of the first car, which meant I'd be sitting directly over the wheels. I knew that would kill my back. So instead I queued one seat down from there so that I was in the front seat of the second car. Dave queued for the last seat of the front car. But the attendant called out to him, "NO SINGLE RIDERS!" So Dave moved over to where I was. The attendant pointed at me. "You have to move up!" I told her I had a bad back and couldn't sit directly over the wheels. She pointed at me and yelled, "YOU HAVE TO MOVE UP OR YOU CAN'T RIDE!" A woman who was queued for the seat behind us with a child just shook her head and she graciously moved up to take that seat. I thanked her, and the ride attendant quieted down. When the attendants came over to put our lap bars down, I was spared but Dave got stapled in. The ride itself was as I expected. The park, to their credit, had done a lot of track work on the ride. It was about as smooth as I've felt it in recent years. But it still had a lot of jolts. It also had really strong laterals and violent air time. It certainly wasn't a coaster I'd want to ride over and over. But I was grateful that one wooden coaster remained at the park. By then it was about 12:30, so we decided to get something to eat. A few days before, one of my crowns fell out. My dentist couldn't see me until the end of August, so I had to be careful what I ate until then. I suggested going to the Take Six Cafe, in the Looney Tunes Movie Town area, which offered pasta. We walked back over to that section. The building had tinted windows, which made it look dark inside. But when we arrived at the entrance door, we found that the building was closed. We then headed up toward Crackaxle Canyon, to the Smokehouse Barbecue. Along the way, we noticed that the former queue line for Goliath had been turned into a picnic pavilion, which I guess was a smart reuse of that building. We entered the Smokehouse, but all the food there was meat. We headed out of that section. We never bothered walking up the hill to the Crackaxle Canyon dead end, since almost nothing remained there. For some reason, the park closed down the Houdini illusion ride. The only other thing there was Tomahawk, the Frisbee ride. I didn't notice anyone making the trek up to it. So we doubled back and headed for the Kidzopolis area near the Rockville midway. They had a GoFresh Cafe that served really good black bean veggie burgers. After hiking over to there, we found it too was closed. Dave noticed a new Mexican food concession nearby, Hot Head Burritos. He recognized it as a food chain he often visited in Northampton. Unfortunately for me, all of their offerings had meat. So I settled for the old stand-by next door, Primo's Pizza. When I walked in, I was stunned to find that there was no one else in the entire restaurant except for employees. Usually the restaurant was busy. I walked over to the counter to look at my choices. Behind the counter, one of the workers was giving another a massage. They didn't seem to have the slightest interest in my presence. A slice of cheese pizza came with French fries and cost $16.99. I didn't want French fries, but I wouldn't have had a choice. Another employee came over to the counter. She was a bit more engaged. I asked for the kid's meal (a slice of cheese pizza, fruit cup, potato chips, a small container of fruit juice and some fruit snacks). That was only $10.99. They quickly put my meal together and I got it just as Dave entered with his meal. We had the place all to ourselves. At least it was air conditioned. He had a burrito bowl and he said it was quite good, although it cost $16.99. (I guess Six Flags considers that the magic meal number.) My pizza slice was cold and hard. It was pointless to ask for another; it would have been the same. The fruit cup was filled with corn syrup. But the little fruit drink was good, as were the fruit snacks. The chips were chips. Overall it was a colossal waste of money, even though it was the cheapest meal they had. I went back to get a bottle of water, since I figured they couldn't screw that up. The pleasant employee told me they had a special: two bottles for $8. I got one for myself and one for Dave. After that refresher, we headed back out into the heat and down the stairs to the DC Comics area. The first ride we encountered was the family coaster Catwoman Whip. I think they just ran out of room on their sign. The attendants and the recorded ride announcement always referred to it as "Catwoman's Whip". But none of the signage had the apostrophe-S. We happened to end up first in line and got the front seat. This was one of the few coasters that I really preferred in the back. Because the train was so long, there was more of a sense of speed in the back. It was a fun, brief ride. From there we headed across the midway to Gotham City Gauntlet, the park's industrial wild mouse coaster. It was built when Six Flags was in its "urban-decay-as-theming" phase. It was truly one of the ugliest coasters I'd ever seen, but it still gave a pretty good ride. Dave really wanted to ride Superman, one of the greatest steel coasters ever built. But the train was stuck halfway up the lift hill, and had been there ever since we arrived at the park. I asked if he was interested in the nearby Supergirl Sky Flyer, basically an Enterprise ride with ski-lift styled seats. But he wasn't up for it. So we walked up the winding path back to the Rockville section of the park. I noticed that the Fireball, a Larson Giant Loop that stood behind some game concessions there, was gone and replaced with nothing but a green wood fence. The ride had been damaged by a microburst that hit the park the previous season. I guess instead of repairing the ride, the park just scrapped it. We headed toward the south end, the one area we hadn't yet explored. Along the way, next to the closed Rockville Theater, was a woman tap dancing on a piece of plywood. She was flanked by two drummers labeled "The Trash Tones". She appeared to be trying to smile but looked completely exhausted. That was the only entertainment we saw that day. In fact, in the Looney Tunes Movie Town section, the park had removed the stage that was there and replaced it with a kiddie whip. It appeared entertainment was not a big priority at the park (though it used to be). I stopped at the nearby Fast Eddie's Diner to get a vanilla milkshake. It cost $9, but it was really good and was topped with whipped cream. Then we soldiered on. As we passed by Joker, I asked Dave if he wanted to ride that coaster and he said yes. That surprised me because we rode it on our last visit and didn't like it. So I told him I'd wait for him. To get to the entrance, we had to walk all the way around the winding midway. There was a concrete path next to the Joker that could have taken us right to the entrance, but it was fenced off. I didn't understand this park's obsession with dead ends. Fortunately, as was the story for much of the day, there wasn't a big line. So in a short time he was flipping end over end along the short course. When he staggered out of the exit line, he said he had lost his mobile phone. It fell out of his pocket when he was hanging upside-down. So we walked back down the exit queue and over to the station so he could ask if the phone could be retrieved. The ride attendant told him to go to Lost & Found at the front of the park. Dave didn't have any idea where he lost it, so as we walked back out of the queue we looked along the ground under the coaster track. We were about to give up the search, when I spotted it in some netting just over the brake run. At least he knew where it was, and it hadn't hit the ground and shattered. We were right next to Batman the Dark Knight, the really intense B&M looping coaster, and Dave decided to queue up for that while I waited in whatever shade I could find. The ride, in my opinion, packed too many elements into too short a length. The only time I rode it (when it opened), I greyed out. So I've never bothered with it after that. The coaster had one of the highest capacities in the park, and it took Dave no time to get on it. When he came back through the exit, I asked him how it was. He said it was pretty painful. We headed out of that section of the park, back toward Rockville. We skipped Riddler's Revenge, the equally painful Vekoma hang-and-bang coaster. Along the way, I spotted the teacup ride and asked Dave if he wanted to climb aboard. He was amenable to that, and once again I stayed on the sidelines. He was the only one in line, so after the in-progress ride stopped, he got right on. A few more people filed in and soon the ride was spinning away. There was a family in one of the teacups, a husband, wife and a little girl. He was spinning his teacup mercilessly. When the ride ended, the wife looked really angry and not all that well. Dave was none the worse for wear though. After those intense rides, we queued up for something milder and got in line for Wild Wheelz, the antique car ride that's been at the park since the old Riverside days. The park did get new cars for it, and for some inexplicable reason halved their capacity by getting cars that held half the number of passengers. Even though there weren't many people in line, it took a long time to finally get into one of the cars. Dave drove, and it was a pleasant leisurely trip through a shaded grove. I was surprised that the park didn't get electric cars instead, since their course is so short. In the long run, it would have saved them money. By that point it was 4:00 and both of us had had enough. Dave went over to Lost & Found while I recorded another park walk-thru. When we met back up, I asked him if he had any luck and he said that if they ever retrieved it, they'd give him a call. It didn't sound too promising. Six Flags New England had so much potential, but I wondered whether the current management was on the right track. Inflation was on the rise and all parks were having difficulty getting help. But at an amusement park, all the guest takes away at the end of the day is a smile -- or a frown. A park's true duty is to deliver a superior guest experience. And on this day, Six Flags New England fell far short. I got the sense that management was doing the bare minimum to keep the park operational, and that was about it. The food was forgettable and overly expensive. I was baffled by their decision to remove contactless payments. And it certainly was concerning that on a beautiful summer day on a Friday, hardly anyone was there. It was great having an amusement park so close to my home. But I wished it had something more that made me want to return.

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